Letting Go of the Wheel

"I believe we write our own stories. And each time we think we know the end - we don't. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and in peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all. You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong."- Stacy Holt, The Little Black Book

Lunch out with some of our classmates after our first module,
Understanding Bureaucracy
by former DBM Undersecretary, Cynthia Castel

The Search 

Only a few people know about how the flame begun.

Five years ago, we filed our applications (separately) to pursue Master in Public Management (MPM) at the Ateneo de Manila University School of Government. Talk of the town was this Lasalista guy who topped the entrance exam getting the very rare 95-percentile mark. Since then, I was in hunt mode. He triggered my competitiveness and curiosity. Fast forward to the first day of classes, I was all ears as everybody introduced themselves, like a lion searching for its prey. Towards the end of the introduction, I found him. His voice in perfect timbre, "Good Morning. My name is Lester Cavestany. A Bachelor of Science Major in Physics graduate from La Salle....", was all that I heard. The next thing I knew, we were in front of the altar of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Parish exchanging vows and saying "I Do". And yes, he had me at "Good Morning".

Carpe Diem

He was engaged to a blonde Irish girl, and I was in a 5-year relationship, but we were both sharing the phrase "relationship on the rocks" as status in facebook. I knew I have been settling in mine but just didn't have the courage to let go. That's when I started praying. Day and night I prayed, non stop. I prayed for the audacity to jump into the rabbit hole, hoping to come out renewed.    

MPM was not part of my life plan. It came to me as a last resort with low spirits from Ondoy's devastation, failed US Visa application and unsuccessful National University of Singapore scholarship. I believe it was God's way of putting me in the right place, of taking over the wheel. Had I used all my resources and energy to push for studying abroad, I would not have met the man I prayed so hard for and become the mother of two wonderful children named Lex and Aria. Back then I was hesitant, but looking back, I am so glad I went for it. It was truly a life changing achievement. The experience was the jolt that I needed to push myself harder and discover my X-factor. I became a wife and a mom in the process and of course my thirst for knowledge quenched. It was a blessing that I am extremely and forever grateful for. I know now that everything happens for a reason and that life occurs the moment you stop being busy making other plans. 

Lester G. Cavestany, MPM (Gold Medalist)  

Cody R. Cavestany, MPM (Silver Medalist)

I took up Masters in Public Management (MPM) with the end goal of graduating in flying colors. Hence, graduation was one of my proudest moment, not only for myself but more so for my husband. MPM was a tough journey, but the trip was all worth it. We started as classmates, then groupmates, then seatmates, and ended up as life partners. I guess this is why we operate well as a team, because we already know how to work together right from the beginning.  We succeed together, we fail together, and that's what makes our life sweeter. I am full of pride and joy to everything my husband have accomplished. He is such an incredible man and I am so lucky to have him. I always look forward to wherever the future may lead us. I love him dearly. I pray that he get success and victory every time.

Today marks the day I met my future. As I stop and remember, my life is the epitome of  the way the cookie crumbles.  I followed my heart, began loving and accepting myself. I came out of the rabbit hole fully grateful for my life in whatever circumstance, genuinely living it every moment. This is Living!

"This is Living" by Hillsong Young & Free

Waking up knowing there's a reason
All my dreams come alive
Life is for living with You
I've made my decision

You lift me up, fill my eyes with wonder
Forever young in Your love
This freedom's untainted with You
No moment is wasted

See the sun now bursting through the clouds
Black and white turn to colour all around
All is new, in the Saviour I am found
This is living now
This is living now

You take me higher than I've been before
It's Your perfect love that sees me soar
God Your freedom is an open door
You are everything I want and more

You lead the way, God You're right beside me
In Your love I'm complete
There's nothing like living with You
This life You created I choose

Maybe I ain't really know what living is
Is it love if it was am I living it?
Do I live in it?
So astounding
Love is an ocean you can drown me
The sweet embrace the lovely taste
I taste and see I'm under Grace
The place to be it means I don't ever need an umbrella
I'm cool in the cold and the hot weather
Whether or never I ever understand
I'm a man in the hands of great plans
I stand with faith in a life I never known or touched
It's still outside my clutch but
I'm like what's to dream of and what's to hope in
What's to die for and live to no end
This is living
The life I've been given's a gift
If Imma live it Imma live it to death!
So what's to dream of and what's to hope in
What's to die for and live to no end
This is living
The life I've been given's a gift
If Imma live it Imma live it to death!

Born to Worship

God placed in every human being the need and desire to worship. You can go to the remotest area in the world and find that you don't need to teach people to worship because they are already worshiping a god. They already acknowledge a higher, Supreme Being. Hence, we are all born worshipers.

I remember being a huge fan of the Ateneo Blue Eagles. I watched their every game live or in TV. I cried when they suffer defeat and celebrated every victory. Even when I started working, I would take the day off just to join the crowd camping outside the gym for tickets. I went gaga whenever I see players walking in campus. This is how supposedly worshiping feels like. The adoration, the honor and the huge faith translated to complete devotion.

In the olden times, worship is done through physical acts of bowing, bending, and kneeling. Now we are being called to worship from the heart. If your heart is not in it, then it is not true worship. You can go into a place of worship and go home wanting to go back just because it makes you feel good. But true worship calls for a paradigm shift, a change of heart, an encounter with the Holy God, and an attitude of submission. Worshiping in spirit and truth is what God is looking for.

Ultimately, it is not how we worship but whom we worship that matters. It begins with God. How we respond to God in worship is directly shaped by how we see God and who we see Him to be. We present ourselves to Him as a living sacrifice, with an open and repentant spirit. We worship because we love God, through worship we give reverence, praise and glory to the One who alone is worthy of our worship. To glorify God is to respect Him through our own actions therefore, we are at our best when we praise Him.

Life is a battlefield, but we are battle born for the God of everlasting wonder whose love outlasts the end of days. 

*This was my reflection on the first edition of the Advancers (Praise your way to Victory) series Battle Born held last May 17, 2015 at Feast Greenhills. Please visit www.feastgreenhills.com to know more about the Feast.

Building a Nation

If you don’t have integrity, you have nothing. You can’t buy it. You can have all the money in the world but if you are not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing. - Henry Kravis 

Normally, the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions business is profit. I had to step back and reflect on the meaning of the phrase, "Our country is our business", emblazoned in the building of the Ateneo Professional Schools in Rockwell. For me it simply means that business is not just for profit but also for nation-building. That aside from having financial gain, we all need to give back to the country whichever way we can. 

photo taken from: ateneogsb.blogspot.com

Nation-building in a sense refers to enhancing the capacity of state institutions and building state-society relations. (Wikipedia) It is a process of democratization, developing a stronger nation from its current weak state. Many business leaders today view their job as a call for them to do something for the welfare of the wider community. These individuals do not define themselves as profit-making machines whose only reason for existing is to satisfy escalating expectation for immediate gain. Rather, they take the lead in building a nation out from a somewhat premature or weak state.  

The Philippine State is considered a premature state for many reasons. One is because its claim to statehood is predominantly based on anti-colonial sentiment rather on the “natural” bonds formed through common historical experience, relationship and identification with a common language or a common religion. (Banlaoi) Another characteristic of the premature state of the Philippines is its legitimacy being challenged. Though the Philippines is considered legitimate by virtue of international recognition, there are presence of resistance groups within such as communists and Muslim secessionist groups that questions the legitimacy of the Philippines.  The premature nature of the Philippine state is also attributed to the concept of having a Filipino national identity being contested by some Filipinos who mostly identify themselves with their regions or ethnic origins (Ilocano, Bicolano, Cebuano,etc.) than with the “Filipino nation”. The Philippines is deemed as a weak state because it has always been under the control of the elite clan or a powerful family. The traditional clan dominates politics and business in the country. They also give preferential access to state resources and state-conferred economic opportunities to their friends, relatives and the political elite. This premature and weak state of the Philippines produced weak governance institutions thus the country failed to manage the ethnic, religious and socioeconomic diversities in its society. (Banlaoi)

According to a report by the Asian Development Bank, one of the major causes of poverty in the Philippines is governance issues which includes corruption and a weak state. The Ateneo Professional Schools’ tagline calls for its students to be nation builders more than just profit seekers by doing what is right and doing what they can to help the Philippines build a better nation. For us Public Management students working in the government, it would mean developing policies that would benefit the public or your constituents. It would mean displaying work ethics and being publicly accountable to your actions. It might even be as simple as not using office equipments and supplies for personal consumption (i.e. government vehicles).  

While it would seem impossible for our country to move towards collective discipline and self-reliance, we Filipinos have a gift of survival because of our deeply rooted faith in the divine.  This faith allows us to be hopeful and believe in the power of miracles. It is thus our individual inner challenge to build on this faith and form the character that will lead us to building the nation we can all be proud of. Nation building is after all about building yourself first. Nationhood is difficult to achieve or impossible when people’s character remains weak, selfish or exploitative so we all need to work on building ourselves first to contribute to the progress of our country. In making sense of the Ateneo Professional Schools tagline, us as public managers, start with ourselves and walking our talk. Ateneo School of Government taught us to build a nation by transforming communities; helping build the country community by community, municipality by municipality, city by city and province by province. They call for us to be ethical leaders throughout the country. You cannot consider a job too small to be able to contribute to building our nation. It can be a menial job as long as you work morally sound and honest compared to the ones on top. 

To some, the simple daily form of corruption might become a norm that they just go with the way the cookie crumbles, but to us who are fully aware of the innate goodness, the ones in touch with our deep faith, we go on with our lives hoping that we influence as many people as we can to a change of heart. A paradigm shift that is more inclusive. A mindset that now considers everybody, especially the poor and vulnerable in planning, policy making, commitment to public service or in daily activities. An appeal similar to how Christ calls us to be his disciples and be like Jesus to one another everyday.      

*Notes from the "Globalization and Nation-Building in the Philippines" by Rommel C. Banlaoi